1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
