if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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