he shaved USA in his pubs
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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