who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
