You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
