it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize