whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
