11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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