Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
