Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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