the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
