just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
