i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
