I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
