Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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