i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
