she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
