There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
