I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
