You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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