I can text with my tongue
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
