Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
