We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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