so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
