We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
