that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Vodka?
Forever.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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