I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
