ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
