I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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