That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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