Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
