Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
