The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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