so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize