so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
