i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
