Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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