I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
