Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize