I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
it was like eating out sand paper
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
