why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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