remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize