Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
