Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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