My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
