you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
