How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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