youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
