I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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