he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize