Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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