whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize