we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
