Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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