So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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