make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
