as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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