You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
