My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Pooping to opera.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
