I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
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