DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
